Will The Real Ranger Step Forward
by Miss Redneck
Summary: <html><head></head>Have you ever considered that everything you thought you knew about the Plum characters could be bogus? Well, in my world it is possible. AU, or is it? It's a Babe, more or less. Just a one-shot to let everyone know the real story.</html>


A/N: Just a small one-shot thought that I wanted to share. Janet Evanovich gets all the money, I get nothing. Everything is a figment of my imagination, or is it?

WILL THE REAL RANGER STEP FORWARD

Over the past twenty years an incredible thing has happened. There was a little story called _One For The Money_ created by Janet Evanovich in 1994 and it started a whole lot of crazy for fans. As Janet Evanovich produced more Plum novels, the fans began developing their own opinions as to how the story should progress. At the beginning of the new millennium, fans began posting their own opinion on what should be going on with Steph and Ranger. Babes and Cupcakes were formed. Lines were drawn in the sand and friends and enemies were made.

That brings us to the purpose of this little ditty. I wanted to let everyone know the real story behind some of the characters. Everything you have read, up until this point, has been true works of fiction. I'm going to tell you the background on the real people and I think you will be totally surprised. Let's start with Ranger.

Ranger's real name is, in fact, Carlos Ricardo Manoso, Jr. and not Ricardo Carlos Ricardo as referenced in multiple publications.

His father, Carlos, is a famous artist. When Carlos, Sr. first began painting and selling his work in 1962, he worked under the name of Charles Manson. Well, we all know what happened with the real Charles Manson. At some point he changed his pseudonym to Mariland Manson and later to Rickey Martin. For someone who was an amazing artist, his creativity didn't extend to thinking up original names for himself. Finally, he now works under his real name and has become quite successful.

Ranger has been called 'Ranger' since he was five years old. A family vacation took them to Yosemite one year and little Rickey decided he wanted to be a park ranger when he grew up. One thing that is true in most publications is his Cuban heritage and his massive group of siblings. His parents, being devote Catholics, didn't seem to believe in birth control. Or if they used the rhythm method, their rhythm was off. Most people don't realize that Lester is really Ranger's half-brother. It seems that dear old Dad couldn't keep his pants zipped. Ranger's mother, Maria, and Carlos, Sr. have been happily divorced for many years.

Ranger and Lester were in the military and Special Forces but what most people don't know is the real story on how they got there. You have probably heard the story about gangs and stealing cars leading him to a judge who offered one or both of them time behind bars or the military. That is partly true. Even as a small child, Ranger had gifted intelligence and was building his own computers with Lester by age ten. By age twelve they were hacking into anything with an ISP, included the Pentagon's mainframe. As a testament to their abilities, they weren't caught for four years. Unknown until now, they were real life Robin Hoods. They were transferring money from the Columbian drug cartels into the bank accounts of multiple drug treatment programs all over the world. They were never caught for this activity. I have heard unconfirmed rumors that they were both multimillionaires before age sixteen, but no one, except Ranger and Les, knows the origin of the money.

Eventually, they were caught by the government and were forced to focus their awesome abilities in more legal areas (cough, cough, covert). Most people would be surprised to know that they are both card carrying members of not only the NRA but Mensa also.

One thing that is true about Ranger is his ability to be a real Badass and that's with a capital B. He has done many clandestine missions and will probably continue in the future, but he can pick and choose these days. Most aren't dangerous anymore and he usually doesn't have to leave his keyboard.

Folks, how long have you been hearing stories about Ranger and Stephanie? The Evanovich woman told the first one in 1994. Ranger and Steph were only twenty-eight at the time. That was twenty years ago, people! Do you seriously think a love triangle can continue for twenty years? My God, Ranger is 48 years old! I must say though, he is still a mighty fine example of manhood and doesn't look a day over 35. When he smiles, he still has the ability to make waitresses drop their trays.

And what was all that Eliza Doolittle crap about? The truth is much more interesting and brings us to some of Steph's background. Ranger and Steph actually met two years before she started being a BEA. They hooked up one summer at MIT when they were both completing an advanced degree program. There's a whole lot more to Stephanie Plum than what you have been led to believe. Doesn't do casual sex? Pleeease, are we talking about the same person here? Well, I'll talk more about Steph later.

Is there a real Bat cave? Duh! Of course there's a Bat cave! He even has a butler named Alberto who has been with him for years. Ella and Luis have been retired for over ten years.

Ranger does have a daughter named Julie. Most of what you've heard about Julie is true except that Ranger never gave up his parental rights when she was a baby. Ranger would never have done that. He didn't get to see her as much as he would have liked when she was younger, but he made up for it later. Julie has been through med school and is now in an internship program at New York Presbyterian Hospital, working right along with Dr. Oz. She's got her Dad's smarts and good looks.

You might have heard that there are outside partners in Rangeman. Ranger has always been independently wealthy so there was no need for outside help financially. Over the years, however, Tank, Lester and Bobby have bought in. Ranger's primary source of income these days has nothing really to do with Rangeman. He and Les developed software years ago for several of those alphabet agencies that's still being regularly updated and used today. Their names have also been linked to companies such as Google and Facebook in later years. At least some of their aliases.

Have you ever wondered what Ranger does in his spare time besides watch Steph sleep? It turns out he is as good an artist as his Dad, but chooses to not sell his work. Most of his work is displayed at his various homes over the world and he has been offered mega bucks for some of them that he always declines. His best friends have some of his pieces that they received as cherished gifts over the years. One that Tank is quite proud of features four cats sitting around a poker table.

There is one fact that is pretty consistent with all the stories told about Ranger. He is honorable. If you're his friend, he's your friend and brother forever. He will always have your back. He is generous. He is talented. He is beautiful, inside and out. I am proud to know him and call him my friend.

Now we can talk about Stephanie.

There have been so many stories told about Steph over the years, I don't know where to begin with the truth. Most people would recognize her as being the one with a chicken leg in one hand, a Boston Creme in the other hand, a meat ball sub in the other hand, a pizza in the other hand, a Tasty Cake in the other hand and a big hunk of pineapple upside down cake in the other hand. All the while chasing a naked man covered in Vaseline (the man, not Steph). Now, who among us can do all that? I've got only two hands. Stephanie's sweet tooth has always been greatly exaggerated and fills space in a story.

Stephanie Plum was born in Trenton and raised in Leesburg, not Chambersburg, by her parents, Helen and Frank. This Burg has a gated community with historic mansions in the center of large fenced lots. The upper class of Trenton and New Jersey claim this area as home. In this part of town no one cares what their neighbors are doing. In some cases it is better to not know what some of your neighbors are doing. Politicians are made and deals are struck. Hear no evil, see no evil. No one was ever really sure how Frank accumulated his fortune, but there were rumors of Mob connections. These days he appears to be retired and quietly lays out by the pool most days. Helen seems to shop a lot and has been rumored to be a contributing editor for some of the Harlequin Romances. That has not been confirmed since if she is, she's using a different name. We did find references to an Ellen Peach, but we've not been able to connect any dots.

Steph's Grandmother, Edna, is still around. She is into her 90's and is still in fairly good health, living in an upscale condo association with a full house staff at her disposal. Edna Mazur was born into old money and when she does pass over to that great condo in the sky, Steph will be a wealthy lady in her own right. Steph has always been Edna's favorite. Edna has always been lively and feisty but never has she been a perverted old lady grabbing men inappropriately. She has always gotten a kick out of hearing the exaggerations about her life.

Stephanie, as a child, was extremely intelligent with a natural curiosity that landed her in trouble more than once. She became obsessed with serial killers and their backgrounds. Her high IQ contributed to her graduating high school by age fifteen. By age eighteen she had her BS in Criminology and one in Forensic Science. By age twenty-one she had advanced degrees and was offered a job with one of those alphabetic agencies as a profiler. She kept an apartment in DC and was back and forth for a while. While working on one of her degrees, she decided to do her thesis on the local criminal element in Trenton. This was when she became a Bond Enforcement Agent. It was all covert research for her thesis. Total fiction is her bumbling. She could kick ass and shoot straight even back then and she did maintain a 100% capture rate. The bumbler in the group was always Lula, but Steph took her in hand and eventually trained her to be a competent BEA.

A couple of years before becoming a BEA, Steph was asked to conduct a summer workshop at MIT in Forensic Psychology. This was when she first met Ranger Manoso. He became her best student, earning top grades on all projects. At the same time, Steph became Ranger's eager student and she fell in love for the first time. They both knew it was just a summer romance and they would go their separate ways when the time came, and they did. They kept in touch over the next two years and even worked together a couple of times, but didn't really hook up again until she was back in Trenton fulltime.

Morelli? Never an issue. They were acquaintances and worked together at times, but nothing more. Of course, the Hairy Italian did try a few times, but he was always out of her league and knew it. Not that Steph was a snob but at the time she didn't want a relationship with anyone. That whole choochoo thing? Pure fiction. So was the Tasty Pastry incident when she was sixteen. Pure fiction. Steph was already in college at that point and had already started sowing a few wild oats.

After her thesis was complete, Ranger talked her into coming to work for him. She was able to do her contract profiling under the umbrella of Rangeman. She continued to profile and teach criminal justice and forensics at a local university. Some of her published works are required reading for nearly all criminal justice students.

Stephanie never really had the urge to have a serious relationship or get married until she finally hooked up with Ranger. But real life intervened and she had to rethink her position. As in some of the stories you have read, Ranger did, indeed, have Bat sperm. Even though Stephanie was on serious birth control, she became pregnant. Not once, but twice, before she decided to make an honest man out of Ranger and agree to a quickie wedding in Vegas. Elvis impersonator and all the trimmings. Things rocked on and after accidently producing two more kids, Ranger had things clipped. They now have Rico, Rosa, Rebecca and Stephen. Steph still jokes with Ranger about replacing his iron and brick security fencing with white picket fencing.

Their own particular life story would be much more interesting and believable than the ones that have been perpetrated over the last twenty years. The overview of the real couple seems to convey calm and in control existing, but don't be misled. They have had their share of adventures and real stories to pass along to their kids and future grandkids. Well, some they can't talk about in mixed company.

A/N: Thanks for reading my little ditty. I appreciate any and all reviews. I'm trying to get some practice in before I start working on something with more meat. Tell me seriously if you think this could lend itself into something bigger. Thanks, Y'all.


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